Confronting the Curse

Volunteering to be the Room Mom for my son’s class is kind of a big deal for me.  It forces me to look inward and deal with some deep-rooted thoughts and characteristics.  As social as I might appear to be, I’m quite the opposite.  Close friends of mine who have actually stuck around know that there are certain times during the year where I will become a hermit and won’t reach out to anyone.  I don’t know why I go through this phase, but I look at it as my hibernation to recollect myself and enjoy some quiet time with my family.  Typically I’m not even aware that I’ve entered my hibernation until my good friend Danno points it out, chuckles, and tells me he’ll be there when I come out again.

Becoming Room Mom this school year means that going into hibernation is not an option for me.  I will need to leave my comfort zone and stay in consistent communication with my son’s teacher and the other volunteer Moms of his class.  This is where confronting my deep-rooted thought comes into play.  Women don’t like me.  At least not the majority.  You might be thinking that I’m being silly and have insecurities within myself.  This is not the case.  I believe that sometime after I was born an evil witch stood over my crib and sprinkled a cursing repellent that would cause peers of the same sex to hate me.  Yep.  Thats my story.

Am I alone on that?  Ever since Kindergarten I’ve been outcasted from the other girls.  In 2nd grade I had a couple of girlfriends, but it was only on the terms of one and she liked to kick me in the shins when I didn’t do what she wanted me to.  Beyond that no matter where I went… girls hated me.  To this day… they still don’t like me.  In 8th grade I remember being alone with this one girl from this group of girls that all disliked me, and I actually asked her WHY she didn’t like me.  What did I do?  Her response??  Lol.  “I don’t know. I just don’t like you.”  I have tried the tactic of killing them with kindness only to be continuously glared at and gossiped about.  My Mom always told me not to worry about them because they were just jealous.  Jealous of what though?  I still haven’t found the answer and this blog isn’t about finding that answer.

Fast forward and I’m an adult with three wonderful school-aged boys and I’m back on the playground.  Literally.  I find myself at a loss of words when I’m among other Moms.  Last year during Open House at school, my son introduced me to his best friend’s Mom.  We shook hands, smiled, said its nice to meet you.  Then there was silence.  I really didn’t know what to say beyond that.  I wanted to spark up some interesting conversation but I continued to draw a blank.  Nothing else was said so I went through and met all of his teachers and we went home.

I think part of my problem now is that I don’t know how to talk to women.  Usually the topics I enjoy and can contribute to deal with current events both here and from around the world, politics, eco awareness and so on.  I don’t get much feedback when I do try to bring up such topics.  I’ve even halfway debated on watching Sex in the City as a tutorial on how to hang out and get along with my peers.  With all this said you can understand why my transformation into being a Room Mom is such a big deal for me.  Not only am I doing this to be a larger part of my son’s education, but this is also a step forward for myself.  I want this and its happening… and you have front row tickets to watch it all go down.  Or up!  =)

I’m not afraid anymore though.  I’ve made the executive decision within myself to stand proud, do whats right, love my children, and support their education.  If I stick to my heart then I know I’m good.  If I still have haters at the end of this school year, maybe they are jealous.  Who knows and who cares?  At least I’ll go to sleep knowing I grew to be a stronger and better Mother because of it.

Any and all feedback on your experiences being Room Moms/Dads are completely welcome!  Talk to you all next time!




  1. October 11, 2011 at 5:21 am

    I enjoyed this blog…all you can do is be yourself. If they don’t like you it’s their loss. The women who are secure in their selves will like you and become friends with you.
    As for you becoming Room Mom you have this hands down…you are going to be an Awesome Room Mom…you are a very talented and creative young woman and the kids are lucky to have you this year.

  2. Brandina said,

    October 11, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    When people isolate you from the group like that, it is usually due to their own insecurities. If it’s any colsolation though, Brian said that all the girls he knows are like you…they all feel like the others don’t like them, they feel at a loss for what to say/do when around one another and they all usually have more guy friends.

    Have you considered maybe a girls night out with the other moms you’ll be working beside throughout the year? Maybe something like that will help you break the ice, get to know one another and let down your guard enough to give one another a chance.

  3. J.Lynn said,

    October 15, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Congrats on taking this challenge head on. That’s always the hardest part. Next step: Just be you. Strike up a conversation that interests YOU and if the other person gives, then you might gain a new friend. If not, screw ’em; they’ll be missing out on some really good environmental or political talk. And if they’re so shallow that the ONLY thing they can talk about is Sex and the City, then they are definitely not worth your time. What’s that saying…”you choose your friends; don’t let them choose you”? I know it might be hard to stick by that saying with you being in such a close knit group of moms, but just be yourself.

    BTW, what exactly is a room mom?

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